Palpable Emotions

Windows are wide open, it’s hot summer night, although you can hear the stormy wind developing into rain and maybe even thunder. Just like your messy feelings are culminating into restlessness, the heath with a hint of icy wind is becoming something bigger and stronger. You don’t want to go to sleep, you are too tired to stay awake. Every noise coming from your neighbours, flatmates or nature is pushing your awareness of reality further and further into total chaos, because everything seems to be dangerous and the space that surrounds you seems to be haunted. Haunted by what? Why are you suddenly so afraid of life? Even lying in your own bed is a tricky task – you cannot trust yourself alone with yourself because you are creating the haunted dimension around you and keeping it alive with your own dirty thoughts. Dirty thoughts of you being alone, not enough, fat, embarrassed, bad person, too emotional, too critical, stupid. All of them are a part of the weak self, which comes alive only when emotionally and physically too tired.

It’s 22:22, time to make a wish.

Best advice: let the sleep cure you.

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