Finally, life makes sense

What is more exciting than actually moving towards your goals?

All the activities that have caused struggle with finding enough strenght to make yourself believe that you are not weak. All the feelings that have made you believe that life is not worth being happy because being succesful is untangible illusion that only “others” can reach. All of these moments fade away when you actually find the sources of your power. Thoughts that make you feel down, don’t find room in your actively concentrating brain. And even when all the days are not the best ones, you still have those pieces of your true powerful self around you, which support your being and won’t let you fall into that dark room of negativity and loneliness.

The more you fill your day with choices that are good for your present and future self, the calmer you are. It can only be done after heavy dreaming to understand where your mind travels when it is set free; and also by believeing that what you dream of, will manifest and therefore become your wonderful reality.

Advertisements

The House of Red Doors

Waking up at 10AM slowly and with a suffer because of the pain of saying Good Bye to the life I had in my dreams. Question “Where am I?” pops up to my mind every morning and it scares me, because I am afraid it has a deeper cause which is related to my E-self. Has the lifestyle corrupted my mind and now slowly taking over my understanding of the Real? — After the morning evaluation on the topic “Am I crazy?” I grabbed my phone, started to read Wall Street Journal from their amazing app, got some information about the Donald Trump Jr vs Russia scandal but missed information about truly important life – real life around me. Namely, Katja’s Facebook picture popped up on my screen but I ignored it, believing that WSJ has so much more useful facts that will help me to grow as a person. I was wrong. After world-facts I went to see what Katja has to say to me and there it was… the most beautiful information sent an hour ago.

She won 2 tickets to Apokalipstick in Renate club and just saw the e-mail. By the time I was ready to answer her that yes! let’s go! she was already there. I washed myself, put on my basic-rave-outfit, ate chia seed pudding, put cherries into my purse and hopped on my bike. Got in an hour before closing, found Katja right away in her national habitat – dance floor -, we talked & danced and felt very well of our decision to make this couple of hour morning party happen.


The euphoric feeling that rushes into your soul the second you walk into a party gives you the boost you need to have the strenght to become one of the animals in the madhouse. You passionately only see the beauty in everything: in every fallen angel, in all the dirt, in the starvation in people’s eyes. All this is the cause of the feeling that the world is actually wonderful. Everything and everyone that you see there, belongs to there. Even if it would be unacceptable and ugly outside the walls of the club, it is aesthetically perfect inside the walls. 

 

The Fear of Death

You believe you have what it takes. Finally you have created a persona who is powerful enough to stand up straight and against the tought world. You wake up with a smile because you have succeeded in some fields, you are happy with yourself and you know your value. You are strong. Until Nature shows what is the truth. The truth that you are a small little insect that can be washed off from the life (that you are trying to take as seriously as possible) in a second.

Thunderstorms. The moment sky starts to mumble in it’s own languange, you understand that Nature is alive. The mumbling develops into sharp earlocking bangs. Your heart skips a beat because body believes it’s time to die. Choking feeling of unawarness: what’s gonna happen next?! Chicken skin on your body tells you that even a noise of Nature can scare you. What will happen if Nature starts to act accordingly as well?