Pleasure Garden

Autumn crisp has taken over previously heath-filled streets of Berlin. Who could have known that one can enjoy it so much? Walking out of the apartment with your layers of warmth covering the soft skin (which is not as tanned as wished) and from the moment the cold air smoothly crawls into the nostrils, you feel relaxed, gentle smile on your face. Finally, the hectic summer is over and it is allowed to stay in more and not party as much without a guilty feeling and fear of missing out.

The days are mostly filled with sunshine which makes outdoor activities so romantic. Crispy sunshine – contrast that has a strong beauty element within. Leaves are falling yet everything is still very green. Walks by the river, gathering the last colorful flowers that make the room look more like me.

On Saturday we decided to clean our whole apartment to get rid of the spirits, energies and thoughts of previous people who have lived here. We had breakfast together, after what we filled jars with water and salt*, putting our sincerest thoughts in it: what we wish to get rid of; what we wish to manifest. Four witches making magic in the kitchen. After the massive clean-up action, the apartment felt warmer and safer.

*Salt water is known for its power of removing bad energy – just leave it to the room for 24h and then wash the jar.

My new room is finally ready and repowered and I feel good about it.


Palpable Emotions

Windows are wide open, it’s hot summer night, although you can hear the stormy wind developing into rain and maybe even thunder. Just like your messy feelings are culminating into restlessness, the heath with a hint of icy wind is becoming something bigger and stronger. You don’t want to go to sleep, you are too tired to stay awake. Every noise coming from your neighbours, flatmates or nature is pushing your awareness of reality further and further into total chaos, because everything seems to be dangerous and the space that surrounds you seems to be haunted. Haunted by what? Why are you suddenly so afraid of life? Even lying in your own bed is a tricky task – you cannot trust yourself alone with yourself because you are creating the haunted dimension around you and keeping it alive with your own dirty thoughts. Dirty thoughts of you being alone, not enough, fat, embarrassed, bad person, too emotional, too critical, stupid. All of them are a part of the weak self, which comes alive only when emotionally and physically too tired.

It’s 22:22, time to make a wish.

Best advice: let the sleep cure you.